Shaking the Decision Tree: Tuesday #79

Supernatural, gen, ~1K words, set during "Mystery Spot."

Warning: Dean dies. Also contains brief descriptions of Dean's previous deaths.

After watching Dean die seventy-eight times, Sam would have thought he'd be used to it.

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The whole bull riding thing was such epic fan service but I am not complaining at all. Especially that shot at the end when he just sprawled back across the bull's back, sweaty, panting, his head tipped back ...

*fans self*

Not Knowing the Ending

With everything that's going on, there's a big part of me that wants to retreat. To burrow under the blankets, to watch Netflix and sip a cup of hot chocolate. To hide out in a world where I already know the ending, so I know that evil will be defeated, at least this time.

But those stories can also be a source of inspiration. When I was a Christian, I tried to ask myself "What would Jesus do?" Trite though that may seem.

(Of course, if you asked different Christians what they thought Jesus would do, they would often come up with different answers. Funnily enough, Jesus generally ended up agreeing with whatever Christian was asking themself the question.)

Being a Christian, I thought, meant that I did already know the ending. That the triumph of good over evil was preordained. I found that comforting.

But now, when I no longer believe I know the ending? When I'm groping my way forward, blindly, in the dark? It's the stories that I have that inspire me. Because the heroes, the ones I truly love, don't always know that they are going to win. Sometimes they honestly believe that they are doomed to go down fighting, but choose that rather than surrender.

Sometimes, like Samwise Gamgee, I am only holding onto the belief that there are things -- ideals, and people -- worth fighting for.

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RIP Carrie Fisher

I keep trying to type something up and then stopping, erasing the whole thing, and staring at the blinking cursor because words are really not ENOUGH.

When I was a kid, Princess Leia was an inspiration; a female action hero unlike any I'd seen before.

Years later, when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, Carrie herself became an inspiration. Life with mental illness didn't have to be tragic.
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